(Deep Breath)... God is so good to us.
I wish you could feel the weight lifted from my shoulders. Why I put it there I do not know. My heart and my mind KNOW that He always has me... but still, I AM the stubborn girl that He designed.
Anyone reading this likely knows that last night our permit application for Night Light Tulsa was approved. What many don't know is that we have been battling this process for nearly four months now. We knew it would come to something big, we could feel it. The pressure, the frustrations, the tension, the waiting. The waiting...... uhhh... I'm terrible at waiting.
But oh, the other things that came with all of this. (I am not saying I am ready to go through anything like this anytime soon but...) The beautiful prayers. The verses exchanged through text. The songs shared through Facebook. The closeness of a team. The rallying of support. The awareness of a community. The trust and reliance that He would not bring us to this point and leave us. So. Many. Lessons.
God is so good to us. (Deep Breath).... and tears.
This morning my message notification went off. When I looked at my phone it was a conversation from our mentor and friend Don and my husband. This is how it went.
Don: God is good.
Jason: All the time.
Don: All the time.
Immediately, my mind went back to a photograph from February 3 years ago. I don't remember anything from that moment which makes it weird that I would think on it. I am not even really sure who took the picture. I had just came out of a 5 1/2 hour surgery where my trachea was surgically separated and the diseased/scarred portion removed. The trachea was then reattached in a healthy area. I had, at some point, been taken from recovery to my room in the ICU and my family... and friends, Don and Donna Millican, who had flown all the way to Boston to be with us, were allowed in. I can't tell you about the moment or even how this came about. All I know is that I was completely unable to speak from the surgery so I was given a pad of paper and a pen. This is what I wrote.
This one image.. that I don't even remember writing... three years ago... brought me down to my knees this morning. What an AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL moment. Why my mind would think of this one tiny moment in a million of others is crazy to me... except for this. My God is powerful. I wasn't sure I would come home from Boston. I wasn't sure I would see my babies (then ages 6, 3, and 1) ever again. I hugged people knowing there was a possibility that things could go wrong. Yet, I remember the hundreds that were praying for me. The sweet friends that covered me in verses of comfort and praise. I remember the verses and prayers at my bedside before they took me to the OR. I remember having complete peace. And 3 years later.. I can take a deep breath.. I am here. I have been more blessed then I could ever have imagined.
I realized this morning when I received this message that this has been one of "those" moments. You know, the ones you don't even realize you're in until you can look back. The ones that were WAY heavy. The ones that even though you know you are surrounded by all these amazing people... it wasn't until you stepped out of it that you saw how TRULY amazing they are!
Our God works in huge ways through people. He is SO good to us. Yesterday I said to someone, "I know that God is going to take care of Night Light. I know, that no matter what the answer is today, if we are willing to walk through the doors He opens, He will open a door". But, oh, my heart was hurting as we walked into City Hall. I felt so heavy. Then a pretty incredible thing happened... all of these people started showing up. People who didn't have to. People that had worked all day and I am sure would've liked to go home and rest, people who left work early, mommas that had to bring their kid(s) with them, momma's who had to find somewhere to take their kids. People showed up... and it was a big deal to me. I received messages and texts all week and as the time for our meeting approached they continued to come in. Our incredible friends (because they are way more then just a team) jumped in taking care of the one thing we were fighting for- our bridge family- and took all of our worries off of that. All of these people let God work through them..
Walking to the car after we had been told we were approved, I felt like I could finally breathe again. All of the pressure was gone. All of it. As we got to the bridge and word spread you could feel the relief of everyone. I have several nights under the bridge, that I claim as my "tops" and last night will be added to those. The love and joy was thick.. it just covered the place. Our God is so good and one of my most favorite things that he does to show us this- is that he gives us amazing people to travel with! So be inspired. Let him use you. Look for opportunities. This is one of the most amazing things our God does... and all of us are blessed when we allow God to use us or to use others in our lives.
Deep Breath~ God is so good to us.
