Ups and Downs- but God is consistent!

Yesterday was mostly a good day but ended on a note that made me need to refocus. I have told my patients and families a million times that their stay is a marathon, not a sprint. That there will be good days and bad ones, and things can change in an instant. I have tried to comfort them in those moments of weakness. I know that all to be true but it is completely different when you are the one in that marathon or in a weak moment. I hope that I can remember these moments and take even more time for my patients and families going through these times. I know my encouragement for them will be focused differently from now on.

Yesterday started out with mom coming in and helping me get a mini shower and a sort-of hair wash! Sometimes the little things are really big. Jason came up not long after that and we all exchanged Valentines :) Throughout the day I walked (crutched) about 1/4 of a mile! I also spent most of the day up in a chair. These were big improvements for me! Before Jason left for dinner, we were able to Skype with the kids. Isaac kept trying to tell knock, knock jokes, Ben was being silly and was able to read the notes I wrote, and Lizzie kept giving hugs through the camera and asked if we could feel them. I miss them SO much. Also, my sweet friend Teresa had her bronch and everything looked great. I am so happy for her. She should get to start eating today and will be discharged this afternoon. My resection friend from California didn't fare as well, she will have to stay an extra 2 days. They were trying to change flight plans and I know it was getting expensive for them. That is on top of the normal upset of having to stay longer and be away from their kids. Please say a little prayer for them.

So going into last night I felt pretty good. Then my vein went bad. I had only had that IV for 1 day. The Vanco is so acidic. So then I got stuck my 8th and 9th time for IV access. The IV nurses keep telling me I am going to need a PICC line (a type of central line) that my veins are dying and that it will take about 9 months for them to come back. I still have 3 days/ 6 doses of Vanco left. Its a little thing but after being stuck a million times and knowing the process of a picc, it made me feel like I was going a little backwards. I have a very sweet nurse who tryed to reassure me that I am doing just what I should be and that this is day 5 and I am almost there. I love good nurses. I have had several of them. Mom and dad were here at that time and they of course were trying to comfort me as well. After everyone left I picked up my phone and had a "God's timing" text from my wonderful friend Niki. It had this verse:

"I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out. Plans to take care

of you, not abandon you. Plans to give you the future you hope for."

Jeremiah 29:11

That was followed by a text from my Jason that said "God has been shaping us for something. I trust that He will use whatever happens for good if we let him. Stay focused, your doing great, and I love you."

I am telling you, God has used so many people and things to touch me. It overwhelms my soul. I am not surprised. Just extremely touched that I matter that much to Him.

Today started a little off. They woke me at 4 for vital signs and lab work (more sticks :( I am black and blue with punctures up and down my arms). Then I got a new roommate about 4:30, so it was all lights on for that. Decided I would put my music on and blog. :) Thank goodness for earphones! Mom and dad fly out this morning. Please pray for a safe flight for them and easy transition back into normal life. I know they will be tired. Dad leaves for a work trip to San Diego on Saturday.

Thank you all for continuing to lift us up. Everyday we get so many kind texts. I feel your strength and it is such an encouragement to me. Thank you also to those of you who have sent pictures of our kids at home playing, at bible class, or at school parties. We love seeing them and know that they are being loved. It means everything to me.

I am going to end with another song. Sometimes just resting with the music it so comforting to me. Hope this one speaks to you as well. It is a beautiful song.

"Word Of God Speak"

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice